I thought feminism was about dismantling a system designed to keep women out of the public sphere of politics and advocating for their equally important but unique interests, keeping them as a source of unpaid domestic labour, and as a sexual and reproductive resource — i.e. property or at the very least an underclass for the benefit of the other half of humanity.
There’s no glory in being a victim or systemically discriminated against, but staying silent about doesn’t change the fact. Speaking up about it does prompt change however, to redress this fact.
Free speech means that in response to your words other people get to exercise their free speech by calling you sexist, for instance. Don’t be so delicate. Likewise, if the hardest aspect of your life is the existence of a term to describe the pattern of male non-experts explaining things to female experts…well…women are allowed to coin words to describe their experience. If women en masse get into the habit of explaining to men that “actually, getting hit in the balls doesn’t hurt” then men might coin the term womansplain, boo hoo.
I have no idea what your problem is with people believing rather than deriding and dismissing victims of sexual assault, do you apply this to victims of theft, mugging, assault? Or is it the gendered nature of sexual violence that gets your goat, and throws all ability to empathise with anyone but the alleged male perp out the window?
Intersectionality is the opposite of dividing, it is recognising that a constellation of sex, race and sexual orientation comes with a unique set of hardships than merely belonging to a single one of these groups.