Zero fluency required; let these three little words do all of the heavy-lifting.

Saa (さあ)

It sounds exactly like a sigh. Use it to mean ‘it is ineffable’ or ‘this will indeed puzzle philosophers for the centuries to come’.

Naruhodo (なるほど)

‘You have made a very eloquent point. The scales have fallen from my eyes. Now I understand.’

Soudesuka? (そうですか?)

‘Is that so?’

But what’s this, you want to know, will this really fool people into thinking you’re not only fluent in Japanese but also incredibly profound?

…Saa.