Welcome to my brain, please removed your shoes before entering. I’m glad you got a kick out of it :)

The humorist in me finds that idea very tempting (the researchers’ names would be literary allusions or puns; outlandish claims like “people find those with large thumbs to be three times as attractive”). However, World War III’s already breaking out in some of the comments because people thought I was being serious about blue contact lenses — so I’ll refrain :)